Life, Love… etc. - 23.05.2012
My life, so far has been as adventurous and crazy as the So Weird TV Series! I have been walking a long road of past. I have faced many challenges. Been through a lot of agony. And feel very happy to live a life I call my present.
My parents never really understood me, I must say I never let them understand me. They took decisions based on assumptions. They really didn’t know me. I always was SO secretive. I never revealed what I really am.
I find it quite weird when a friend or colleague of mine, just after we decide going somewhere, calls his Mom/Dad and lets them know what he’s up to. I really never did that.
I have been places where my parents wouldn’t think I’d ever go! This doesn’t mean I haven’t told them EVER. I actually did. It was a Birthday party of a Friend who I had made. It was in 4th grade. He was a new one. My parents didn’t know about him. he was from School I think. I dont really remember his name. He stayed nearby.
I told my mom that I wanted to go for the birthday party. She Refused without second thought. X_X I mean Come on, How bad would it be? I am not getting Kidnapped. -_-
I stopped asking for it ever since.
Speaking of Kidnapping, I have been kidnapped more that 20 times in my dreams. Yeah. 20 times, you heard it right! My dreams have been weirder than my real life. Twice as weird.
I have plunged into the “Leap Of Faith” from my flat’s Balcony more than 40 times. Kinda used to it. the Impact what mostly disturbs me. +_+
I know. I am weird. VERY weird. B|
Falling in love? Me?
I fell thrice.
Once that nobody know of! :)
Strike One: The Innocence.
My first love is the one who I lost to fate.
I was, maybe 6.
She stayed in the flat just above my then flat.
She happened to be my Neighbor’s cousin.
I was a chubby fellow back then. She was just as old as me. We born just a month apart.
We were the best of friends. Her mom didn’t like me though. never understood why.
her dad was arrogant. gave me weird looks. I never mind.
What really happened, was an accident. She lost her dad. A truck rammed her bike. :O
her mom decided to move to Santacruz. She met me the day she left. <3
The only thing I remember of her is her first name and a Lifetime old photograph of us on my birthday.;)
I missed her a lott!!
If I had a only wish, It would be to go back to the past and tell myself to ask for her Number!!
Another time came when she had visited her cousin (the one who lived next door) for some Pooja or something. I wanted to talk to her, but stood there like a coward. X_X Damn Me!
Strike two: Love at School
This one was special. More Intense too! ;)
I was back to school after a Summer holidays. New class new people!
It was perfectly Normal life.
It was in 8th grade. I was still an introvert. -_- Had a bunch of friends who made me laugh. Knew hell lot of people. I was famous baby!
I was a marginally obese guy who got his hair combed by his mom in the morning and watched Pokemon.:| And I loved Ironed clothes.:) As my mom would say,” Tip Top!”
I had no interest in relationships as I considered them a waste of Time and Money.
It was a normal day. people on their own as usual. My class teacher was a hipster.:P Had auditions for the monitors!
I never EVER would go, but I was sent by public demand. They said,” I am ‘The Artist of the class’” B|
A week-or-two later, another monitor was deployed to assist me. I might be good at drawing, but had a “never-mind” handwriting.
There she was. ;)
She was tho only one in the class who actually knew what I had drawn. Also I enjoyed explaining it to others.:)
I didn’t notice her until one day when I was laughing at a friend’s joke and so was she. Our eyesight met for the first time. Something hit me. A blow to the head. She was right there.
The day went Happy-happy.;)
the next day, I laughed when she did. I never really understood why. She used to look at me, and smile.:)
We used to exchange secret smiles. The class didn’t even notice! :) ;)
She was beautiful. She never really wore make-up. but still looked Verry pretty..:)
That was it. i had fallen in love!! ;)
We kinda had this protocol. We communicated through eyes. Just looked at each other..and we knew..what who wants..!! THAT my friend is LOVE.;) <3
Only once. We talked. She Blushed. Oh I love that face soo muchh..!!
My grades starting falling. I failed in Maths. She still was the Scholar. I did not complete my English workbook, just because I got to kneel down in front of her bench ^_^ In one way. She’s the one responsible for building my vocabulary. B)
Dad used to lecture me. What else do you need to study? People don’t even have things you do, still do good in exams.
How would I tell him what I had my heart on..
I was SO in love..
but I had to ignore her. I had no choice. I knew, If I don’t make it to 9th grade, I AM SCREWED!
I ignored her. Concentrated on studies. I had perhaps become too shallow. She was distressed. i knew she used to cry too. I just knew..
The irony continued till 9th grade. She tried desperately, but I was just too bad.:(
I stopped looking at her. There it was. A time came when She gave up. :(
I just couldn’t forget her.
She was there all over. I started over. But this time it was different. She didn’t give a damn! I knew I was to blame. besides I deserved it.:(
I blamed self. I was so bad? Why was I so bad?
I knew somewhere down there she loved me. I knew she did..
But that never happened. time changed her. She wasn’t the one I knew.
And there it ended. X(
Strike Three: The Dead End
You know what, I am a scorn lover. But my 2nd crush was the only one who I thought would live up to it.
now its all me back alone.
It makes me sick that I never had a girlfriend. wheras the Dumbest of the dumbest people I know, have considerably attractive girlfriends.
but as usual, I never mind. I dont give a fuck.
I love to the end of this world!
And fall inside a black hole!
Now, If there has to be a girl for me. She would come for me. I am done running behind them. Being Single has been far better than the Mind-fuck I’ve been through.
I am walking on a road, I dont know where it leads me. But I trust myself and my instincts. After all, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel!